Brad was in his mid-forties, divorced, and the father of a sixteen-year-old daughter.  He was raised to believe that money is indeed the root of all evil and that the pursuit of money would bring unhappiness and pain.  His parents resented people with more money than they had and said rich people got rich by being dishonest, not by working hard.  The messages were so strong and so persuasive that despite how hard Ben tried to ignore them, he became apprehensive about money and in his life.  Ben's mother told him that "money kills" and used his grandfather's death to illustrate her assertion.  On many occasions, she related the details of her father's life:  how he worked long hours; how he was consumed with accumulating more and more money; how he of a heart attack at forty-eight.

 Since he graduating from college, Brad had worked at various creative pursuits involving the arts.  It was his passion--often his secret passion, because very few people knew that he painted.

 As manager of a small art gallery, Brad worked sixty hours a week for a low salary.  His friend, Bart, owned the business and had convinced Brad he was the man to enjoy such a fascinating business with opportunities to meet interesting people and also have the opportunity to grow with the business.  Art promised Brad a share of the gallery as soon as it started to show a reasonable profit.  As someone who dabbled in art and secretly harbored fantasies of being a successful artist, the gallery business provided stimulation and interest beyond a pay check. While he believed in his intelligence, Brad doubted his talent as an artist. This would give him the opportunity to learn what it takes to successfully sell art.

 Brad refused to show his art to anyone. Not only was he reluctant to start to market his art work, but Brad was also unable to ask Art for a much-deserved raise, and piece of the business as he was promised. He had been working with hardly a weekend off for nearly 10 months, and had made great strides in giving the gallery a stellar reputation.

 Brad had many excuses for not exhibiting his own paintings anywhere, including Bart's gallery.  All of the excuses were a camouflage to hide his highly critical judgment of his work and his fears of rejection. Brad lived in a very small apartment in a beach town in Southern California.  He lived a Spartan lifestyle, saved his money to send to his ex-wife for child support, and spent what little was left to buy art supplies and pay for occasional social activities. He knew interesting women but found it difficult to move from friendship to romance.  After all, what woman would want a serious relationship with a struggling artist?

 I met Brad at the art gallery, as a customer. He became intrigued when he learned that I specialized in the psychology of money management. At first, he said he did not want to make significant changes in his life; he just wanted his fair share of Bart's business. He felt frustrated because he seemed to care more about the gallery's success than Art did.  Yet, he was not being compensated fairly.

 I asked him whether the enjoyment he received from being around artists and their work compensated for the lack of financial rewards he was receiving. He admitted it did not.

 I explained that I believed his overly critical style prevented him from asserting himself financially.  Further, his lack of self-esteem blocked him from risking what others would think of him if he were rejected in any way.  It was easier to remain a struggling artist, waiting to be discovered.  However, as the years passed he was becoming increasingly frustrated in that no matter how hard he worked, he was always faced with financial constraints.

 Brad finally discarded the belief that going after money would bring him misfortune when he gave up the self-critical part of himself.  Instead, he began to see that he was the culprit and that money could be used constructively to provide personal freedom and financial independence.  He had not realized how his family's messages about money being evil had infiltrated his attitudes.  Even though he valued his talent and took his work very seriously, he had conducted his career and personal life in a robot-like fashion.

 In our working together, he began to feel and perceive the emotions that he had been avoiding. As he began to take control over his life, to act assertively to get what he wanted.  As Brad learned to deal with rejection and manage his anxiety, it became easier to take a chance and be rejected.  He had accepted the fact that he was primarily responsible for fulfilling his career and financial aspirations. Her also realized something that he would never have realized-that he had a great talent that could bring him tremendous personal satisfaction as well as financial security.  A combination that was not part of his belief system growing up.

 I last heard from Brad when I received a beautiful postcard of one of his latest paintings.  The color card was announcing his one-man show in a prestigious Boston gallery. Brad's story is yet another example of how taking charge of money, rather than letting money take charge of you, will enrich your life in many ways.