Murray was a procrastinator and perfectionist who took three months to decide where to put his IRA.   Beth, his wife, explained his dilemma: He wants a ton of money without any risk.

 Murray took even longer to decide what house he wanted to buy.  For almost a year he and Beth searched for the perfect house for.  Between Beth’s high standards for the home’s necessary amenities and Murray’s difficulty in making financial decisions, it was a frustrating experience.

 While they both described themselves as “fussy,” they also agreed that Murray was the more difficult one to please.  Both described Murray as “somebody who can’t make a financial decision.  He will sit and analyze the situation from now till doomsday.

 He wanted to be sure the property would be resalable--that it would appreciate; if they wanted to sell the house in five to seven years, he wanted to feel certain that they would reap a profit.  He also wanted to live in a strong, viable community.

 Beth finally found the house she wanted to buy and urged Murray to agree before interest rates began to climb.  Rates had not been that low for a long time. Their real estate broker called several times to tell them of others’ interest and that they had no further time to deliberate.  Murray said that the broker was trying to manipulate them, and he simply wouldn’t buy until he was ready.  He still had more research to do.

 Tired of being patient and understanding, Beth gave Murray an ultimatum--his house or no house.  He gave in and made an offer.  Unfortunately, they had waited too long.  Another couple wanted the house as much as they did.  They found themselves in a bidding war, and Murray was out of his league.  He just couldn’t stand the pressure of making fast decisions—it all felt too risky.

 This was the last straw for Beth. She gave him another ultimatum:  "Change your style or change wives."

 I met Beth and Murray through their CPA and managed to establish a trusting relationship with them so that Murray could hear what I--as an objective third party--had to say.

 While being reflective and analytical can be positive traits, they were handicaps to Murray.  He used his deliberate and analytical style as a stalling mechanism, a way to procrastinate and keep himself from taking action.  His money management style caused him to deliberate until he talked himself out of risking any change in his style of operating and thinking. People like Murray stay at the same job, function with unprogressive beliefs and attitudes, remain in unhappy personal relationships, and manage money in an unproductive manner.  In short, they are reluctant to move away from anything that symbolizes security.  They tend to accept their financial lot in life, rather than working assertively to change it.

 The Perfectionist’s overly critical money management style prevents them from asserting themselves financially.  Until Murray felt that he could put himself on the line without being criticized for making a mistake, he couldn’t emotionally afford to take any risks.  It was only when he became less critical with himself and learned to forgive any mistakes that he made, that he could venture from his familiar and self-inhibiting style and live with the consequences of any risks that he felt he took.

 Murray was eventually able to discard the belief that “everyone was out to get him and his money," and found that he actually prospered from this new attitude.  He finally understood that he was his own worst enemy.

 It came slowly, but he discarded his negative beliefs and saw money in a new and liberating light.  He began to develop both short-term and long-term goals to improve his financial situation.  He used his keen analytical skills in a productive way, and took every situation as a new experience.

 It was not easy.  However, he and Beth were determined to live with a positive attitude rather than a negative one.  The glass became half-full instead of half-empty.  Money became a  means to provide financial freedom and independence instead of worry and misfortune.